Delle Alqualondeva (ikadell) wrote,
Delle Alqualondeva

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Жителей БОстона и окрестностей особенно позабавит

Mattel recently announced the release of
> Limited-Edition Boston Barbie Dolls:
> Newton Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at
> Filenes in the Newton Mall. She comes with an
> assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a
> long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter
> house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face
> lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
> "augmented" version.
> Belmont Barbie: This yuppie Barbie comes with your
> choice of Mercedes convertible or Hummer H2. Included
> are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country
> club membership. Also available for this set are Midge
> the European Nanny and Private School Skipper. You
> won't be able to afford any of them.
> Cambridge Barbie: This doll is made of actual tofu.
> She has long straight brown hair, arch- less feet,
> hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white
> socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She
> does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase
> the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag
> sticker for free.
> Sommerville Barbies: There are actually two models
> available.
> One is a duplicate of the Medford Barbie, and the
> other is a duplicate of the Cambridge model.
> Andover Barbie: This Barbie comes complete with THE
> accessory of the season: a photo album of her and her
> way cool friends through the 15 years that they have
> been friends, or at least lived in the same town. The
> most fashionably diverse of the Barbies, she comes
> with not one, but two shirts that can be changed. The
> first is a Andover Academy sports t-shirt (fall thru
> spring) and the second is a Andover Pool t shirt
> (summer).
> Wearing both at the same time puts her at the top of
> her game throughout the year.
> New Hampshire Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie
> comes with a 9mm handgun, a Chevy with dark tinted
> windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only
> available after dark and can only be paid for in cash.
> Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a
> cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.
> Watertown Barbie: There are two versions of this
> Barbie also.
> One is a replica of the Cambridge Barbie...she
> represents one section of Watertown. The other Barbie
> is a replica of the Newton Barbie who represents the
> other side.
> Dorchester Barbie: This Barbie comes with a 1984
> Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby
> Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The
> optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket lunch pail
> and is missing three fingers on his left hand.
> Cape Cod Barbie: Available only in the Summer, nobody
> is quite sure if Cape Cod exists throughout the rest
> of the year. She comes wearing a tennis outfit and
> with her own boat.
> Concord Barbie: Comes with a lot of gaudy diamond and
> gold jewelry, wigs for every occasion, a BMW 7 series
> and a triple-platinum no-limit credit card.
> Framingham Barbie: This doll comes with a
> complimentary Fastlane Toll Pass for her leased car,
> as well as a monthly pass for the T Commuter Rail.
> Laconia Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her
> own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR
> shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has
> a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD
> set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired
> Ken's ass when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck
> separately and get a confederate flag
> North End Barbie: This doll is quite a bargain as she
> comes not only with her own car, but with her own
> parking space too! The only problem is that the spot
> is a 3 mile walk from her $3,000/month studio
> apartment 4 miles from the airport.
> Billerica Barbie: This gum chewing, brassy-haired
> Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with
> one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken
> out of Burlington Barbie's house. Her ensemble
> includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails,
> and a see- through halter top
> Acton Barbie: This modern-day homemaker Barbie is
> available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching gym
> outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time
> occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming
> cell phone included, headset sold separately.

Tags: relata refero

  • (no subject)

    Этот проект сделан от начала и до конца в порядке хулиганства. Впрочем, также потому, что где-то же есть в мире дороги и вот это всё.

  • (no subject)

    Подвал Башни - место, как принято говорить, "непростое". Например, несколько лет назад, когда там было еще ковровое покрытие, там прямо из ковра…

  • Башняtalk

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